If I were to give my parenting style a label, I’d probably say I practice attachment parenting. Co-sleeping, breastfeeding on-demand, baby wearing, never letting Lena cry it out… check, check, check. However, as she’s gotten older, I’ve had to decipher between real crying and fake crying and respond accordingly. And I’ve also learned that sometimes it doesn’t matter what I do, my toddler is just going to cry for the sake of crying.
A few weeks back, Lena woke up from her nap in a particularly sour mood. I was trying to cook dinner (shocking, I know) and that was unacceptable to her. When I wouldn’t let her play with the boiling pots on the stove, she lost her mind. My cousin Tor had recently moved in with us and the novelty of being with family quickly wore off as Lena decimated his eardrums with her post-sleep screams. It was such an outrageous tantrum that he felt the need to film it on his iPhone. It was a lot to handle even for me and I have to love her because I’m her mom.
A few days later, this little gem was presented to me by my generous and creative cousin. All credit goes to him for filming, composing, recording and mixing with the exception of the lead vocals as performed by The Bacon Bit. If you watch closely, you’ll also see my double chin make it’s music video debut. Thanks for really highlighting it in that last shot, Tor. You’re a cinematic genius. So without further ado, I present to you: Brutal Breastfeeding by Infant Angel of Death.