I’m more the spectator type

Do the chickens have large talons? Yes, and they’re red.

In about 3 months, my life is going to change in a way that can never be reversed. I’m going to have a baby. That still sounds so surreal. I am going to be a mom. My husband, Jason, is going to be a dad. And quite frankly, my mind doesn’t have a clue what that even means nor has it even begun to process the reality of it all. Needless to say, this pregnancy was a huge surprise. We didn’t think we could have children. The next question people always ask is “why do you say that?” Well…. let’s see. I think we all know that storks don’t actually bring babies into the world. It takes a man and a woman and no barriers in order to have a baby. In our case, a man, a woman and no barriers equaled nothing. Then suddenly…..voila! Knocked up!

I am 26 weeks pregnant now (why do we count it in weeks?) and slowly coming to terms with it. Yes, my belly is big, my hips ache if I sit longer than 2 seconds, and I have to drink a shot of nasty green liquid every night called Source of Life. Yes, that would be prenatals and I have to take them in liquid form because my gag reflex could win Olympic medals. I thought all those things meant I was really getting into the swing of pregnancy. Then, last night, something happened and I realized I have not dealt with this thing AT ALL! I was cyber lurking on the blog of a girl I’ve never met but know of (stop judging, you’ve done it too) and was leaning forward on my arms. Skip the next few sentences if you have an overactive imagination. I had just gotten out of the shower so I was rocking my Eggar suit and my ever-expanding boobs were resting on my forearms. Apparently, I was leaning too hard because all of a sudden, I had a little drop of water on my arm. Only, it wasn’t water. Because nipples don’t drop out water. I was LEAKING! Picture a baby bird being electrocuted and that’s sort of what I looked like. We’re talking arms waving, unintelligible noises escaping my lips and all-over body shaking. This was not something I had bargained for. I mean, I realize milk comes from boobs but this early?! Uggghhhhhhh. I wasn’t prepared. I thought I had it under control and then some smartass (mother nature) pulled the rug out from underneath me. So I’m now reevaluating my preparedness level and trying to anticipate what other glorious changes might be on the horizon.

All that being said, I don’t want to sound like I am not happy to be having a baby. I can’t wait to meet our little girl. There are so many things I want to show her and teach her and ways I want to help grow her into a confident and kind human being. I’m just not into the pregnancy part. Pregnancy is an amazing, miraculous thing and the female body is incredible. However, I prefer to be a spectator in this sports arena rather than the star player. Give me that foam finger and I will cheer you on with the best of them. I feel genuinely excited for my friends who are pregnant or have just given birth. I am in awe of the fact that they birthed a little human – I can’t think of a bigger sign that God exists than when a baby is born. It’s just crazy. But as for me, adoption is looking better and better as I count down this 9 month journey that I’m on. Bring it on August…. I’m ready to meet this little gal!

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